MP murdered by right wing terrorist devised plan with fellow MP Seema Kennedy to launch major commission on issue
Jo Cox’s grandfather was a postman, and when she was a child she would often accompany him on his rounds in the West Yorkshire town of Cleckheaton.
One thing that struck her as she watched him chat amiably with dozens of residents he had grown to know well was that the interactions were – for some – the only conversation they would have with another person all day.
Years later, when she became the MP for the wider constituency of Batley and Spen, she decided that tackling the scourge of loneliness would be a key priority in her new political role.
Known across Westminster for her desire to build coalitions across party lines, Cox reached out to the Conservative MP Seema Kennedy, who had also spoken out passionately on the same issue.
Together, the new MPs devised a plan to launch a commission into loneliness – due to begin in late 2016 – that would not simply involve politicians sitting around and talking about the issue but instead represent a call to action.
But Cox’s aspirations were brutally cut short. Thomas Mair, an extreme rightwing terrorist, was jailed for life in November for the Labour MP’s murder in June, a week before Britain’s referendum on EU membership.
Now Kennedy will take the plans forward with the help of Cox’s friend and fellow Labour MP Rachel Reeves. The pair have revealed the huge amount of work Cox had already carried out on the issue, partnering with 13 different charities and exposing evidence of loneliness across a number of different groups.
“Jo wanted to achieve something practical,” said Kennedy. “So this is all about trying to achieve change that is concrete – not just about sitting around and talking.”
Reeves, who said her friend had been “mindful of loneliness” since those early days with her grandfather, set out the key message they planned to put forward.
“Start a conversation, with a neighbour you know is on their own; pick up the phone to your gran; visit the friend you keep saying you should meet up with; make time for people,” she said.
Reeves argued that people all knew there was a little more they could do to support isolated people around them, however busy their lives. “The whole point of the campaign is saying: this is a problem on every street, in every neighbourhood, in every family, and if we all took action we could do a lot to combat loneliness and social isolation.”
One thing Cox had been clear about was that loneliness was not just something that affected older people who might have lost a partner, or close friends.
In just over a year as an MP she had already gathered detailed evidence about isolation in a number of different vulnerable groups – including desperately sad children; new mums grappling with a fresh identity; isolated disabled people; and men for whom statistics on suicide pointed to a silent epidemic.
Evidence pulled together with help from charity partners, including the Campaign to End Loneliness, Age UK, Action for Children, the Co-op and British Red Cross, the Royal Voluntary Service, Sense, and academics shows that:
- Over 9 million people in the UK – almost a fifth of the population – say they are always or often lonely, but almost two thirds feel uncomfortable admitting to it.
- 1.7% or 200,000 older people (65 and over) have not had a conversation with friends or family for a month. Some 360,000, or 3.1%, had not had such a conversation in over a week.
- One in four disabled people feels lonely on a typical day, rising to well over a third for those aged 18 to 34.
- A quarter of parents have reported feeling often or always lonely.
- Over 4 million children have been helped by Childline, with young people coming forward in their droves to confide how desperate, sad and alone they feel in recent years.
“Being lonely is a physical thing,” said Kennedy. “There is a lot of research about how it can manifest in physical symptoms, such as falls, hypertension, increased risk of heart disease, depression, drinking.” Research has even compared loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes day.
Reeves argued that seeing people lonely had broken Cox’s heart, which was why she was so determined to act. The commission will run over a year with months dedicated to different groups, and spearheaded by different charities, ending in December with a manifesto launch.
The MPs discussed various aspects of their work, including the impact of the huge growth of social media.
Kennedy said it could be a positive thing to help put young people in touch, but only if it resulted in face-to-face meetings as well. Reeves agreed that the worry was if technology “becomes a substitute for real relationships”. She also argued that the vast growth in social media could sometimes make people feel more lonely as it amplified how connected other people appeared.
One month will be dedicated to the question of loneliness among men, with the RVS charity – which was once dedicated to women – taking the lead.
Kennedy and Reeves pointed out that suicide was the biggest killer of men aged under 45, with men nearly four times more likely to take their own life than women.
Some practical steps include ensuring that community groups are not simply focused on activities more likely to appeal to women, but with projects such as the “men in sheds” scheme through which people meet over tools in an allotment.
There will also be a heavy focus on new mothers, with Kennedy admitting that she was “very lonely” after giving birth to the first of her three children. “I’m not someone who can say: ‘Hello! we’re best friends.’ It can be very isolating. It is a different pace of life, you are living on someone else’s routine.”
Justine Roberts, CEO of Mumsnet, said that her online forums were filled with mothers discussing ebbing morale, suffering from sleep deprivation and struggling to make friends.
Another group that the MPs have added to the effort is refugees, because of the work Cox did campaigning to support asylum seekers.
“Refugee Action tell us that whatever the rights or wrongs of it there are lots of people who come to this country with no one and they can’t always choose where they live so are not near people they know,” said Reeves, who said people who often did not speak good English, were not allowed to work or study and had experienced horrific things could become chronically lonely.
And a month will be dedicated to how companies can best tackle loneliness among workers, with the Co-op planning to lead by example in offering support to its workers and customers at critical points of their life such as after bereavement or divorce.
Kennedy admitted to finding herself nervous about the challenge of making sure they lived up to what Cox would have done with the work. “You think, God, I want to honour this person, but I can’t commune with the dead, what can I do?”
She said the support of Cox’s husband, Brendan, had helped give her confidence that she and her Labour colleague were doing the right thing.
She said they were launching in late January, rather than at Christmas, because support often dropped off after the festive period but the short days and bleak weather continued.
Reeves added that Cox had often spoken about meeting people in her constituency who might not have seen anyone for a week, “who didn’t have the strong bonds that make us human and allow us to live full and happy lives”.
“Seema said loneliness has a physical effect on you. Well seeing people experience loneliness had a physical effect on Jo and she wanted to do something about it.”